Kyuboria: cubicle humor with a twist by William R. Vitanyi.

About Kyuboria

Kyuboria is about a State Worker who is trying to get fired from his cubicle job so he can qualify for a grant to start his own company - but the State never fires anyone.

This is the pathetically humorous story of one man's escalating schemes to get fired from an organization that doesn't know how. More than a humorous story of cubicle antics, Kyuboria is a metaphor for breaking out of the box.

Clint Palmer, the central figure of Kyuboria, has spent far too much time in the box. His weariness has been honed to razor sharp indifference, tempered by a total lack of interest. He realizes all too well that he must get out, if only to preserve his sanity, but his will to achieve has atrophied to the point of immobility.

This is what makes him a cubicle hero, of sorts. No one expects much from him, but Clint realizes that to escape he will have to put forth the effort of a lifetime. He will have to accomplish the unthinkable. He will have to get fired by the State.

For a sample of the writing of William R. Vitanyi in this office novel, check out the excerpt below.

Excerpt of Kyuboria

CHAPTER ONE

	I had spent most of my working life as a drone. A well-educated, high performance drone, to be sure, but a member of the hive nonetheless. My prime directive had always been to blend in, to participate, to conform. This required a high level of attention to the details of others. The needs of others was my call to action.
    
	Nothing was impossible. For a dedicated programmer in the state's Federated Alliance for Increased Learning—a monolithic disturbance on the genitalia of corporate indifference—a request was nothing short of an order, failure not an option. The User's need was my personal challenge.
    
	Programmers can do anything.
	Any task can be automated.
	How things changed that fine spring day.
	Let me start at the beginning.
    
	Mr. Randolph walked into my cubicle, my ten by ten grey enclosure, in much the same fashion as on any other day. He assumed the official State Worker position, leaning against my pretend office wall, right arm bent rigidly at a ninety-degree angle, coffee cup suspended at cooling distance.
    
	"How's it going?" he asked, the familiar routine now part of his genome.	My answer should have been something like "Great" or "Okay."
    
	Instead I said, "Can you be more specific?"
	It was unexpected.
	As in not the anticipated response. Sort of like the blue screen of death, only not quite as dramatic. Windows may be the most popular operating system, but it's not the most popular operating system.
    
	If you know what I mean.
    
	Mr. Randolph was perplexed at my answer, which was really a question.	Wrapped up in an attitude.
    
	"Well," he said.
    
	And that was it. I had deviated, and his internal behavioral program lacked the flexibility to adapt. His face contorted mildly as he hesitated, started to say something else, then awkwardly retreated from my cubicle. I sat staring at the place he had vacated, admittedly somewhat bewildered.
    
	I was puzzled at his reaction, a little. But I was more intrigued at my own response to his initial query. I had answered his question with a question, and a pretty esoteric one at that.
    
	My own behavior had departed from the norm.
    
	Why?
    
	I know now that it was the beginning. The process of awakening had begun, even then, but I was still too numb to realize it. Years of toiling in the obscurity of Kyuboria inexorably dulls the patina of enthusiasm. A shining beacon of zeal is ground into a nub of apathy, which prevails for a long time, perhaps until retirement.
    
	At which time it festers until overtaken by death.
    
	The cube dweller becomes not entirely indifferent, but rather dronish, working regularly and endlessly to advance the cause of receiving a paycheck.
    
	It's not what you'd call a noble pursuit, but it is a pursuit.
    
	Dogs chase their tails.
	This, too, is a pursuit.
    
	After many years they still chase their tails, only more slowly, and with the knowledge that they will never catch their tails.
    
	It's what they do.
    
	In rare cases—very rare cases—a different course is followed. How it happens, or what triggers it, is not known.
    
	Cannot be known.
    
	It is the mystery of Kyuboria.

Purchase Kyuboria

You can buy Kyuboria as an eBook from the retailers below. If your favorite vendor is not listed, they may carry it as well.

Kindle
Barnes & Noble

About the Author

Bill lives in northwestern Pennsylvania with his family and many pets. He is an Edinboro University of Pennsylvania alumnus, with a Bachelor's degree in Russian Language and additional certifications in computer programming and operations.

In 2009 he proposed and established the Impact writing contest, in which students at Edinboro University of Pennsylvania. submitted paragraphs of 200 words or less on a topic of their choice. The authors of the paragraphs with the greatest impact won. Over 40 students participated.

He has written several books, numerous articles at Hubpages (see under Articles on the main page) as well as smartphone apps.

Bill is a bit of an anomaly. He worked as a computer programmer for many years, and is also an app developer. Thus, he is no novice to technology. However, is is also a creative writer. In addition, he spent many years secluded within the fabric-covered walls of an office cubicle. Put them all together and you get Cubular-tech-writer-guy.

Perhaps Kyuboria was inevitable.

Connect with Bayla Publishing

Connect with William R. Vitanyi

Follow @vitanyi
Vitanyi

To contact the author send email to: Contact William R. Vitanyi

Reviews

"Fast and Funny!"

"Kyuboria is an offbeat and absurdly realistic account of cubicle working. It's sure to crack up anyone who's ever been a state worker, or a cubicle worker. But its appeal translates to anyone who's held an office job. When state worker Clint Palmer discovers that a large grant is available that he could use to start his own business, he gets excited. But there's a catch. The grant is only available to people who've been fired from their job. Easy enough to accomplish, except that the state never fires anyone." - susan_d, Amazon.

"Hilarious, great read"

"This is a great read. I very rarely read fiction, but I bought this for a friend and couldn't stop reading it so I had to buy my own copy. Especially hilarious if you're worked in a large company or with the Government." - Mike K, Amazon.

"Had some high point"

"I convince my book club to read it because we all work in cubicles. The majority of them didn't like it at all. I found that it had some really entertaining moments but the were strung together poorly. It took me almost a week to read it even through it was sooo short. I just couldn't get that into it." - David Jones, Amazon.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Create a Website at 1and1

IBPA

Kyuboria

Cubicle Humor With a Twist