How to Get Fired

It's a cubicle. It's boring. This is the tale of a State Worker who tries to get fired from an organization that doesn't know how.


Humor as Escape

It is said that you should write what you know. If knowledge comes from experience, then living inside a cubicle for twenty years should provide an excellent foundation for pathetically humorous exposition. Is not misery the beginning of humor?

Working in a cubicle almost always demands some aspect of creative writing. This may be in the form of memos, email, computer programs, or even screenplays penned during government mandated 15-minute breaks. Whichever, the written word is familiar, and if taken to the next level, is an escape. Perhaps not a physical escape, but imprisonment of the mind is no less incarcerating than that of the body.

In Kyuboria, Clint Palmer is seeking an escape in the form of a grant that would help him start his own company. The catch is that he must be a displaced worker to qualify for the grant. He cannot voluntarily quit his State job. He must get fired.

That's a problem.

Government Unemployment

Termination of government workers is dependant more on elections than competence. The nature of such positions is often such that replacing the position is more difficult than dealing with the person occupying it. Thus, it has become a truism that State workers never get fired. Though not literally true, the few exceptions tend to reinforce the rule, and more importantly provide the premise for Kyuboria.

What exactly does a State worker have to do to get fired? In seeking justification for termination, Clint Palmer faces exactly this question. He has spent far too much time in the box, and his weariness has been honed to razor to sharp indifference, tempered by a total lack of interest. He realizes all too well that he must get out, if only to preserve his sanity, but his will to achieve has atrophied to the point of immobility. This is what makes him a cubicle anti-hero, of sorts. No one expects much from him, and yet Clint realizes that to escape he will have to put forth the effort of a lifetime.

He will have to strive. Struggle. Achieve. He will have to accomplish the unthinkable. He will have to get fired by the State.

Fiction

Making up a story and telling it to someone else is called a lie, and is judged sinful. Doing the same thing and writing it in the form of a book is called fiction, and is considered a noble undertaking. This may demonstrate the fickleness of humanity, but at least it offers an outlet for the aspiring creative writer.

The purpose of fiction is to tell a story. That story may be serious, humorous, mysterious, or anything else, as long as it's a lie, which is what makes it fiction. If the author has chosen humor as the basis of the lie, then at least the work will provide therapeutic treatment in the form of laughter, assuming it is proficiently executed. To succeed, the writer must have a firm understanding of humor.

Funny

What is funny? According to Google: The quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech. According to merriam-webster.com: Something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing.

Given the above definitions, one may presume that there is an element of design to being funny, but beyond that, being funny requires comic relief of some sort. It is the blending of these two elements that creates humor, especially in literature.

Knowing the definition of funny is the first step in achieving it. Utillizing it in fiction is sinfully comical.

Conclusion

The corporate workplace has no shortage of mockable idiosynchroses. Turning these nuggets into hysterical gems is the job of the aspiring humorist, a responsibility that can best be met with a combination of experience and attention to detail.

This experience entails many hours implementing corporate strategies from the productive coccoon of a cubicle, while optimizing humor in the form of fiction. Accuracy is found in the details of the application of humor.

Robert Propst and the Irony of the Cubicle.

Robert Propst is considered the father of the modern cubicle because of his development of the Action Office while working at Robert Miller, Inc. However, his vision of a more worker friendly office environment was hijacked by corporate emphasis on efficiency and productivity.

The towering oak that is the cubicle began life as a sapling called Action Office, designed by the father of the modern cubicle, Robert Propst (1921-2000). Action Office was designed the in the early 1960s, setting in motion an office movement that its inventor did not especially like.


Robert Miller, Inc.

Established in 1905 as the Star Furniture Company, Herman Miller initially manufactured traditional wood furniture, but due to the effects of the Great Depression on the economy they transitioned to the modern office furniture arena. In 1960 they created the Herman Miller Research Corporation, and it was here that Robert Propst conducted studies concerning the modern office work environment.

He consulted with psychologists, an anthropologist, and mathematicians, and concluded that while the office environment had changed, especially in terms of information processing, the basic layout of the corporate office had not kept pace, and in fact impeded communication and personal initiative by warehousing office workers into monolithic workspaces, saying:

"one of the regrettable conditions of present day offices is the tendency to provide a formula kind of sameness for everyone."

In The Office: A Facility Based on Change, he wrote,

"We find ourselves now with office forms created for a way of life substantially dead and gone."

He also said:

"The business of people talking to each other in offices is a very serious consideration. It is by far the most expensive achievement of offices: the grouping of people that allows conversational exchange."

He also said:

Propst said that "today's office is a wasteland. It saps vitality, blocks talent, frustrates accomplishment. It is the daily scene of unfulfilled intentions and failed effort."

Thus, he clearly was against the philosophy of reducing office workers to the same common denominator, and determined that something had to be done.

Action Office I

Propst went to work, and the result was Action Office I. This represented a dramatically new direction in office furniture design, featuring desks and workspaces that offered the worker the flexibility to assume the work position best suited for the task. In other words, it took into consideration the needs of the human. Unfortunately, Action Office I was expensive, difficult to assemble, and poorly suited to large companies.

It was a bust.

Action Office II

Like any good worker, Propst certainly wanted to produce a successful product. The redesigned Action Office II featured a vertically oriented workspace with modular components, which allowed a company to modify the work environment as desired.

Inexpensive and easy to install, Action Office II represented the beginning of cubeland, and this new model of office workspace quickly became all the rage, filling the the needs of business regarding space and efficiency. Sales boomed.

Cubicle Survival

Office workers have to work someplace, and given the enormous increase in the flow of information over the past half century, there was bound to be an increase in the number of office workers. In fact, according to the U.S. Department of Labor, in 2013 "office and administrative support was the largest occupational group, making up nearly 16% of total U.S. employment". Storage of any commodity becomes an issue as that commodity drastically increases in quantity.

The cubicle is inexpensive and easy to deploy, can house large numbers of workers in a relatively small space, and offers some amount of privacy while keeping everyone on the team basically together. Thus, it fills the corporate need for efficiency and productivity, so it survives and thrives.

Conclusion

In 1997, three decades after his work on Action Office, Robert Propst said that he had hoped that his idea would "give knowledge workers a more flexible, fluid environment than the rat-maze boxes of offices," but regretted that his idea had evolved to some extent into just that, saying that "the cubicle-izing of people in modern corporations is monolithic insanity".

This is not exactly a ringing endorsement for a product that he helped design.

Propst was actually responsible for a number of inventions, including an electronic tagging system for livestock. At least corporate America never connected those dots, leaving a modicum of bovine seperation. Perhaps if Propst were still alive he would spend his time and energy developing an antidote to the cubicle. One wonders what that might look like.

His office company transitioned from wood design to modern because of the Great Depression. Although Propst had the interests of the office worker in mind when developing the Action Office, his very invention transformed the corporate workspace into the Great Depression of the office workspace.

Irony, it seems, is comfortable in a cubicle.

References

Pina, Leslie (1998). Classic Herman Miller. Atglen, Pennsylvania: Schiffer Publishing. ISBN 0-7643-0471-2.

Abercrombie, Stanley (1995). George Nelson: The Design of Modern Design. Cambridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press. ISBN 0-262-01142-5.

Habegger, Jerryll (2005). Sourcebook of Modern Furniture (Third Edition). New York, New York: W.W. Norton & Company. ISBN 0-393-73170-7.

Herman Miller. "Action Office System - Products - Herman Miller". Retrieved 1 December 2011.

About

Clint Palmer, the central figure of Kyuboria, has spent far too much time in the box. His weariness has been honed to razor sharp indifference, tempered by a total lack of interest.

He realizes all too well that he must get out, if only to preserve his sanity, but his will to achieve has atrophied to the point of immobility. This is what makes him a cubicle hero, of sorts. No one expects much from him, and yet Clint realizes that to escape he will have to put forth the effort of a lifetime.

He will have to strive. Struggle. Achieve. He will have to accomplish the unthinkable.

He will have to get fired by the State.

This is the pathetically humorous tale of one man's escalating schemes to get fired from an organization that doesn't know how.