To motivate others in the office environment you must exude poise and confidence, but effective leadership also requires practice. The Rough-Skinned Newt Lunge Stance provides the opportunity to exercise your administrative muscles, and trains you to overcome operational obstacles.
Regular use of this stance also enhances supervisory proficiency and may strengthen inspirational capacity. This technique should be practiced three times daily, and is especially effective when used before staff meetings.
Gossip is the lifeblood of corporate communication, but like any specialized skill it should only be practiced by trained professionals. Without proper instruction, the novice may be inclined to disseminate rumors that lack therapeutic precision. The Dogfish Shark Bridge Position suppresses the body's tendency towards indiscriminate news sharing, and at the same time strengthens gossip fundamentals. This technique is perfect for new employees, or as a refresher for old timers.
From the Author
In creating this book, I enlisted the help of 99 volunteer models from Edinboro University of Pennsylvania and the surrounding community. Each model was photographed in an office or cubicle to demonstrate a technique designed to alleviate a common office malady.
The maladies were identified after many years of careful research and observation. No federal monies were accepted for this project. Many elements of the project can be considered environmentally friendly, and all religious and political views are represented.
The book is intended to tone, but only incidentally. Many of the models complained of muscle fatigue after their photo session, apparently as a result of using muscles not intended for the pose requested. This dedication to the cause of office wellness went largely unnoticed, but should never be completely forgotten.
Did You Know?
Scientists estimate that laughing burns anywhere from zero to one hundred calories per nanosecond. The author used this calculation to determine many of the suggested repetitions within this text, and much like yoga or tai chi, animals strongly influenced the positions utilized.
The design of this book is consistent with industry standards regarding cubicle exercise. For best results, mentally perform the pictured technique while two or three coworkers observe. This is known as cubicle imprinting, but can be performed in any office area.
At the top of each page you will find three lines of text. The first line lists the office malady addressed by the technique. The second line lists the name of the technique, and the third line shows the Latin name of the animal inspiring the technique. The three lines of text, known as a triplet, are followed by a photograph of a model demonstrating the technique.
PO Box 457
Edinboro, Pa. 16412
Title: The Official Guide to Office Wellness
Author: William R. Vitanyi, Jr.
Genre: Office Humor
Format: Ebook, Trade paperback
Page Count: 120
Publisher: Bayla Publishing
Availability: Kindle, Nook, Online
eBooks from Bayla Publishing
$2.99 for Kindle
In this techno-thriller, a hidden agency is secretly data mining all online communications to create a "societal profile". This snapshot of the national conversation is the result of scooping up virtually everything communicated online by everyone. If you send it, they store it.
The Official Guide
to Office Wellness
$2.99 for Kindle
100 office workers pose on, over, and in their desks and cubicles to demonstrate animal-inspired techniques designed to alleviate office maladies. Winner of an IPPY for humor.
Gift one to your favorite office worker!
Secrets of a
$4.99 for Kindle
The mysterious world of massage therapy is the backdrop for this humorous, sizzling story of new love. Angie, a professional massage therapist, encounters Marcus, a writer of mystery novels. Sparks fly as they are tested by dark characters in both their lives. Caution: contains spice! Written by a professional massage therapist.
$2.99 for Kindle
Cubicle humor with a twist. State worker Clint Palmer has spent far too much time in the box, and his cubicle weariness has now been honed to razor sharp indifference. Then one day he learns of a grant that could fund his dream company, but to qualify he must get fired from the State.